Breathe, Mama

 

It's Sunday night this side of the globe. I just finished hanging clothes to dry. I am tired, bleeding (it's that time of the month, mama), and overwhelmed with my task list. If you're like me, juggling everything on your own - home management, homeschool, business, career, etc. etc, I welcome you. And I salute you for getting this far in your journey. And maybe a hug as well, because I may not know exactly what you've been through or what you're going through, but I hear you. I feel you. I see you. And you are beautiful. You are amazing. And above all, you are enough. You may be doubting yourself. Asking if what you're doing for your child or children is enough. Let me hold your hand, look you in the eyes, and say, yes. What you're doing is enough. You know your children best. The mere fact that you chose to homeschool means that you care for your children deeply, that you want the best for them, that you, setting aside time, energy, and resources to teach them, says a lot about your strength and character, not just as a mom, but as a woman. It's one thing to have children. And another thing to decide to be their teacher, mentor, coach, guidance counselor, and principal, all in one for the first 12 years of their lives. It's not an easy feat being a homeschooling mom, especially if you're like me, who is a hands-on, high-achieving, perfectionist teacher mom who also likes DIY-ing stuff! Yes, I know it's more work, but nothing beats the satisfaction of seeing my child enjoy and learn from the materials I made with my hands.

If you're a mom who is caring for special needs family members at home, I welcome you as well. I, myself, am ADHD. My son is twice-exceptional - both highly gifted and ADHD. My husband has Asperger's, although I understand that Asperger's has been removed from the DSM-5. If you're the wife of someone with Asperger's, I see you. And let me just give you a big, warm hug. I know what you're going through. I know the loneliness. The lack of emotional and mental support. But still, here we are. So I say to you, it's okay to be overwhelmed. It's okay to be exhausted. It's okay to breathe. And it's more than okay to take time for yourself, right now, and just be. 

As I type this, I have both earbuds on; normally, it's just one. I needed some time for myself. My son constantly bombards me with questions and conversation the entire day. I felt like I needed to write this blog post in peace, and so I told him that I'm going to put both earbuds on because I want to focus on writing and feel all the emotions that go with it. Yes, it's okay to zone out from your kids every once in a while. They do that to you a lot, especially when they're teenagers, so why can't you? 

Are you familiar with that song that goes "so little time, so much to do"? That's my theme song daily! Between all the chores, cooking, homeschooling, running my businesses, blogging, etc. Yeah, I absolutely feel that way every. single. day.  Sometimes I want to stay up 24 hours just to finish half of my task list, but I know that if I do that, I'll get sick. And getting sick is not an option if you're in a special needs house. Getting sick is not an option if you're Wonder Mom in your family. But it is a prerogative to take care of yourself. To stay healthy. To rest. That's why, if you're in a situation similar to mine, I urge you to breathe, mama. We need to take care of ourselves before we take care of others. We need to fill our cup before we pour. 

The White Queen in Alice in Wonderland says she believes in 6 impossible things before breakfast. Well, we Wonder Moms do 10 impossible things before breakfast. Am I right? With so many things to do in a day, I multitask the heck out of chores. I can brush my teeth, wash my face,  cook rice, run the first batch of 5 loads of laundry, put away the clean, dry food containers, figure out what's for breakfast and prep the ingredients, thaw the protein for lunch, and get the clothes from the clothesline, and it's only been 10 minutes since I got out of bed. One time, I finished 20 things on my list, and when I looked at the clock, it was only 11 am. I was so proud and happy...and then I crashed. My energy levels just crashed when I finally sat down. I was useless the rest of the day. So I asked myself,  what's the use of speed running everything and then finding yourself tired and drained by noon? 

After that, I learned to pace myself. I'm still learning. Still telling myself that it's okay not to rush. It's okay to do just 3 high-priority things in a day and then rest. Me being healthy and strong is way more important to my son than finishing 100 things in a day. 

So right now, breathe, mama. Not for them. But for you. They don't always see the invisible things you carry - but I do. I see the strength it takes to just keep going. Because I tap into that strength, too. I ask for my Heavenly Father to pour supernatural strength into me every day, too. 

Breathe like the world isn't demanding anything. You deserve softness, too. Just because you do. 

You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to be everything. I'll say it again. You are enough. Cue Bruno Mars --> "Coz you're amazing, just the way you are." And I'm so proud of you.