The Importance of Having Dates With Your Son

They say you should date your spouse. I say, don't forget to date your child.

My son and I used to go on mini dates after mental math and robotics class when he was between 3 to 6 years old. We would go to Century City and order rolled ice cream from Elait! and fries from Potato Corner before going home. We would sit there and watch the kids play in Kidzoona. Sometimes we would go to Glorietta and just walk around, people watch, and window shop. This all stopped when the pandemic hit. 

Now that Zac has classes in the mall again, I've decided to bring back this well-loved tradition. Here are my whys:

Strengthened relationships

My son and I are very close. But I believe these dates outside the house strengthen our bond even more. It's a time for uninterrupted conversations. I can listen to my son fully without thinking about changing the laundry load or what to cook for lunch. We can both relax and talk about anything and everything. 

Improved communication

My son has no problems communicating. In fact, sometimes I think it's too much! (We're both ADHD. He talks non-stop daily.) But again, because it's outside the house, I'm more relaxed and focused on him. He can say things that need my full attention. 

Reduced behavioral issues

These dates serve as safe, neutral, casual grounds for me to discuss behavioral issues with him without provoking a meltdown or frowning. We can eat ice cream and I can casually talk about a situation where I didn't like what he did. Since that's in the past, he won't be defensive anymore and he can think about what he did. When this happens, he agrees that what he did was wrong and that he will do better next time.

Shared Memories

My son and I have a ton of inside jokes! Sometimes we would see something and just burst out laughing. These dates also serve as extra pages in our memory scrapbook. Now that I'm older, I collect moments and memories with him. He's only a child for a short time and I cherish these dates with him. 

Deeper Understanding

These moments when we don't have to think about things in the house or studies allow us to focus on each other and understand each other more. Sometimes I discover things he doesn't like. It's also a time to discover his current interests and support them. For instance, on one of our dates last week, I asked him if he wanted to check out Toys R Us if they had shrimp figures. He's making a shrimp movie. 😁 🦐 

Positive Role Modeling

During these dates he learns about good table manners and etiquette and how to be a gentleman. These are lessons that he will take and use throughout his life. 

Break from Home Dynamics

And the obvious reason, a break from our usual routine. We get quality time with each other. 

These dates don't have to cost a lot. These are about emotional deposits and not expensive meals or experiences. He may not remember every moment but the feeling will stay with him forever. He will remember that mom always made time for him. 

I'm writing a series about the cheap thrills we discover in the mall. Here's what we did on our first date after a long hiatus because of the pandemic.